16 People You Can Blame the EDM Apocalypse On

Corporate interests are swarming and dance music is being attacked from all angles. Pop music has gone EDM, DJs are get into silly twitter feuds and blogs (like this one) cover it.

When the EDM Apocalypse finally hits, these are some of the people that you can place the blame on. 

16.) The Professors at New York University

Do we really need a “Business of Electronic & Dance Music” class that doesn’t even know how to spell Deadmau5? It sounds like a cheap gimmick from one of the more prestigious Universities in the country. No we didn’t photoshop it.

15.) Taylor Swift

I bought the acoustic guitar, singer, songwriter thing for a while but after listening to “I Knew You Were Trouble”… I feel played T.Swift and it hurts bad. Why are you all of a sudden using synths in your music?

14.) The Owners of Terrible EDM Companies

If you’re going to start any sort of business, blog or whatever related to dance music at least try and have a little class. I can’t begrudge anyone’s entrepreneurial spirit, but with a name like MOLLYWATR I can’t help but think WTF is wrong with people.

13.) Wendy Williams

I still don’t know who Wendy Williams is, but Pasquale Rotella responded to her mockery tastefully and with incredible class.

12.) Jessica Pressler

The notorious and heavily flamed article of the Avicii Untz Untz Untz GQ article has no idea what dance music is really about. Of course you’re going to find some douchiness at a Vegas nightclub where bottles and tables cost tens of thousands. Being a douche is a lot of fun sometimes though.

11.) The Santa Barbara Police

These fine officers of the law are responsible for shutting down Porter Robinson’s set at Matador Music Festival (story). Allegedly he was trying to incite a riot while playing “Language”.

10.) Now That’s What I Call Music

I have to applaud this company for still being around. They’re a constant reminder about how old I am and their ability to sell CDs when everyone just pirates music is incredible. We don’t need “Now That’s What I Call Dubstep” though. Stick with the Jonas Brothers or Taylor Swift.

9.) Britney Spears

Yes, I’d still hold my body against yours but the paint and popstep in “Hold It Against Me” is ridiculous. Do us all a favor and give your pal Amanda Bynes a call so you can save her from shaving the rest of her head.

8.) Live Nation

Live Nation launched Identity Festival in 2011 when dance music was really starting to take off in America. After two years and millions of dollars wasted, Identity Festival is dead. I guess it probably wasn’t a good idea to charge $20 for tickets one year and double the next.

Live Nation should stick to Kenny Chesney concerts and if they do decide to get back in the game, I hope they just buy Insomniac and let Pasquale do his thing (story). 

7.) Madonna

It was a big old WTF when Madonna famously asked, “Has anyone seen Molly?” at Ultra Music Festival 2012. She spawned lines of horrible merchandise with the drug innuendo  It might be worse that people would actually choose to publicly associate themselves with drugs.

6.) Flo Rida

Maybe we can blame Flo Rida for really commercializing EDM because after people figured out that he ripped Avicii’s “LEVELS” all of a sudden we heard that everywhere. It’s too bad Pretty Lights never gets any credit for “Finally Moving” where he made the Etta James sample popular.

5.) Wacka Flocka Flame

While I’ve crushed a few sessions at the gym to “Hard in da paint” I don’t want Wacka Flocka Flame to release more commercialized Southern Rap with poor trap music elements. He’s allegedly working with Skrillex and Diplo on “EDM RAP” (Mixmag).

4.) David Guetta

We respect Guetta for being a legend in dance music. What we can’t understand is why that wasn’t enough for him? Calvin Harris made a few pop tracks and decided to go back to making good music. You don’t see Carl Cox or Eric Prydz collaborating with horrible pop singers.

3.) Hot Topic

Hot Topic proliferates the stereotypes of dance music culture to make a profit. From kandi bracelets to the  infamous “Sexy, Drugs & Dubstep” tank top, they’re doing more than their part to ruin EDM. Whenever I see someone at a festival who’s being disruptive or even worse… it’s usually a Hot Topic Raver.

2.) Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is the Michele Bachmann of dance music. She’s clearly delusional and out of touch with reality, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. Also like Bachmann whenever she says something and we all talk about it because of how batshit crazy it is.

1.) will.i.steal

For someone who’s only famous for stealing music from actual producers, putting will.i.am at number one took no thought at all.

 

16 People You Can Blame the EDM Apocalypse On (click to tweet)

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